A Moment for Mary

They say that a child changes everything. They’re right. It does.


Now that I’m a mother, Christmas makes me reflect quite often about Mary. And, these reflections often leave me a little in awe of someone so willing to let God lead her life.

Mary was a young teenager, engaged to the man of her dreams, living pretty much the idyllic Jewish woman’s life. Then, she is miraculously visited by an angel who tells her that she has found favor with God and that she will become pregnant by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Whoa. Not exactly how you picture finding out about your first pregnancy. And not exactly how you picture the meaning of God finding favor with you. Mary was engaged, but not married. Pregnancy, especially one not by your future husband, really meant death by stoning. Favor, really God?

But, thankfully God blessed Mary with a husband who was … understanding, or at least sensitive to God’s leading. And he led Mary on the 97 mile trip from Nazareth to Bethlehem for the census. Whether walking, riding on a donkey, riding in a car or flying in a plane, traveling 97 miles when you’re grotesquely pregnant is not fun. And I’m pretty sure a stable, hay, manger, and on-looking animals were not in Mary’s birth plan.

But God is in the business of taking the stuff that would never make sense to us and weaving into a beautiful part of His story for us. And in return for her step of faith, she held the Son of God in her arms.

Maybe I need to let God lead a little more.

Pearls in Progress

As I am wrapping a beautiful pair of earrings for one of this year's Christmas gifts, I am reminded of the Christmas short story I read yesterday in the car where a father, who has been absent from his home for some time, returns to his home and his children on Christmas Eve.  The children believe he is Kris Kringle, a bittersweet moment for the father.  He presents both children with gifts, including a stunning strand of pearls to his daughter.  The father explains that pearls form from something irritating that enters an oyster's shell, which is eventually made into a pearl.

The pearl is another reminder of how God takes things that are irritating and makes them into something far more beautiful than could ever be imagined.

I often ask God to remove the irritating things in my life, the things that don't go according to my plan or make me uncomfortable.  Perhaps instead, I should accept them with the knowledge that, in time, He will use that irritant to create a thing of beauty in my life.  How many pearls do I lack because I asked Him to remove the irritating things or that I simply avoided all together?

I'm sure the oyster doesn't enjoy the pearl-making process, as I'm sure none of us enjoy the things in life that drive us crazy.  And, I'm sure the oyster probably doesn't think the whole pearl-making process, which for it is the process of protecting itself from the irritant with coats of nacre, is quite fast enough.  It takes layer after thin layer of nacre to make a pearl.  It is the same for us.  Little by little, bit by bit, God changes the irritant into a pearl that shows His divine plan, His ability to take the irritating, the annoying, the painful, the unwanted parts of life and make them into something unique and beautiful.

The Fight

I don’t know why my daughter chose today to pick a fight with me over naptime. But, today it was. I could feel my anger rising, and I had to strongly resist the urge to just plop her in her crib, shut the door, and hide down in the basement. It took almost three hours to finally get her to nap, lots of shows on the DVR, and a phone call for Mommy to vent to Daddy about what a little stinker his daughter was. Oh, and a lot of prayer. And now, my daughter is sleeping peacefully, standing up in her crib, resting her head on the front rail, and holding her stuffed teddy bear.


As I was rocking her for the fourth time in this attempt at naptime, praying to God to give me the patience and the grace to make it today, I felt a little nagging feeling that God does, in fact, know exactly how I feel. How I have fought Him and fought Him on something He knows is in my best interest, something that I really need. I think I know better, that I don’t need the nap. And in that situation, I am always wrong. Sometimes it just takes me a while to figure it out, and all the while, God was still holding me, pleading with me to finally give in and let Him be the parent.

So, I don’t know why my daughter wanted to fight her nap today, but I know that God wanted to share a little insight into His role as my Father and His patience with me. So, today I was humbled and thankful for a Father who cares so much for me, and who gives me what I need to be a better mother.

Trying to quantify

I received an email from my husband today that made me smile. You see, now that I stay at home with our daughter, sometimes I find it difficult to define my role, or even to figure out how much value to place on it once I've defined it. It seems as though I've needed a business card to define my role and a paycheck to define it's value.

Many people have attempted to place a monetary value on a wife and mother. They calculate the nanny cost, the maid expense, laundry service, the cook, the chauffeur, the bookkeeper. What they fail to quantify, or even take into account, is the contribution of self. The element of you that you bring to the table that no one else can replace. I have often failed to recognize how much my presence means to my family.

I am learning more and more about my role as a wife and mother, and how significant that role is in my home. The decision to stay home wasn't as easy as I expected it to be, but for us, it was definitely the right decision. It has allowed me to focus on creating a nurturing, calm environment for our family. I really liked my job before having our daughter, and I'd like to think I was pretty good at it, but the further we get down this road of parenthood, the more I know that I'm not good enough at multitasking to be able to do it all - the job, the kid, the husband, the home.

Now, I know my choice isn't for everyone. Some of my closest friends are working moms, and I struggled with the decision myself. I firmly believe that you have to make the decision that is right for you and your family, so no judgment here! But whether you work outside the home or not (mother or not), never underestimate the power of your presence. You, who you are, matters so much to the other members of your family. Your position as matriarch of your home is significant. You make it a home.

The email I received today wasn't mushy or really intended to be romantic. It just contained a comment in passing that served as a reminder of the value I bring to my life. The things God calls us to do and to be are never insignificant. I just needed that reminder today. Maybe you do, too.

In Search of a Signature

So, now that I'm a stay-at-home mom, I've had to make some adjustments. My wardrobe has changed. My schedule has changed. I've had to become more flexible (which, I probably should have done when I was still working, but whatever). The crap I deal with on a day-to-day basis is literally crap. And, I have no email signature.

I'm not sure why that last one bothers me. It's not like I'm sending a lot of important emails. But, each time I send an email, it looks . . . well, naked. It just seems like there's something missing at the bottom. I've toyed with different titles and things to put in an email signature, but nothing seems quite right. I've seen quotes, but I'm not loving that idea. I think what I need is a title to add to my email.

Here are some ideas:

Domestic Goddess (This is the title I like to use when describing stay-at-home-momhood. Not sure how well it would be received by the general recipients of my emails, though).

COO, Conley Household


And with that, I'm currently out of ideas. It may be that I'll just have to adjust to my lack of a signature. One of many other adjustments in my life.