Trying to quantify

I received an email from my husband today that made me smile. You see, now that I stay at home with our daughter, sometimes I find it difficult to define my role, or even to figure out how much value to place on it once I've defined it. It seems as though I've needed a business card to define my role and a paycheck to define it's value.

Many people have attempted to place a monetary value on a wife and mother. They calculate the nanny cost, the maid expense, laundry service, the cook, the chauffeur, the bookkeeper. What they fail to quantify, or even take into account, is the contribution of self. The element of you that you bring to the table that no one else can replace. I have often failed to recognize how much my presence means to my family.

I am learning more and more about my role as a wife and mother, and how significant that role is in my home. The decision to stay home wasn't as easy as I expected it to be, but for us, it was definitely the right decision. It has allowed me to focus on creating a nurturing, calm environment for our family. I really liked my job before having our daughter, and I'd like to think I was pretty good at it, but the further we get down this road of parenthood, the more I know that I'm not good enough at multitasking to be able to do it all - the job, the kid, the husband, the home.

Now, I know my choice isn't for everyone. Some of my closest friends are working moms, and I struggled with the decision myself. I firmly believe that you have to make the decision that is right for you and your family, so no judgment here! But whether you work outside the home or not (mother or not), never underestimate the power of your presence. You, who you are, matters so much to the other members of your family. Your position as matriarch of your home is significant. You make it a home.

The email I received today wasn't mushy or really intended to be romantic. It just contained a comment in passing that served as a reminder of the value I bring to my life. The things God calls us to do and to be are never insignificant. I just needed that reminder today. Maybe you do, too.

In Search of a Signature

So, now that I'm a stay-at-home mom, I've had to make some adjustments. My wardrobe has changed. My schedule has changed. I've had to become more flexible (which, I probably should have done when I was still working, but whatever). The crap I deal with on a day-to-day basis is literally crap. And, I have no email signature.

I'm not sure why that last one bothers me. It's not like I'm sending a lot of important emails. But, each time I send an email, it looks . . . well, naked. It just seems like there's something missing at the bottom. I've toyed with different titles and things to put in an email signature, but nothing seems quite right. I've seen quotes, but I'm not loving that idea. I think what I need is a title to add to my email.

Here are some ideas:

Domestic Goddess (This is the title I like to use when describing stay-at-home-momhood. Not sure how well it would be received by the general recipients of my emails, though).

COO, Conley Household


And with that, I'm currently out of ideas. It may be that I'll just have to adjust to my lack of a signature. One of many other adjustments in my life.

Reality Hits

So, today I realized my limitations. At least in part. I'm still working on my Master's degree, and I actually took a class last semester (yes - I did have a baby while I was taking a class). I had enrolled for one class this summer and another in the fall. I figured I could handle one class. I'm home all day, right?

Wrong.

The class started this week, and today I started to panic. Baby D's still not napping very well during the day. (She sleeps well at night. Don't think I'd trade that for daytime napping.) So, it's pretty hard for me to get anything done. I'm still struggling with laundry and meals. So, after talking to Brad and a few good friends, I dropped the class. I now get to petition to see if I can get a full refund instead of just a partial one. Yes, this is day four of my class and I can't get a full refund.

I, the overachiever, am at peace about waving the white flag. In addition to learning how to be a parent, I'm also learning how to say no. It's a hard lesson for me. For the most part, I've always been able to balance everything and to be able to do it all. Not so much anymore. I guess I'm having to change my definition of "all."

Settling in

So we're settling in to a bit of a routine. Still not a great schedule yet, but we'll get there. I find myself saying that a lot lately. We'll get there. I think we're finally beginning to emerge from our 6 week growth spurt. This one was much better than the last one.

I'm struggling to find any of my summer clothes that fit. I'm clear to start exercising again. Yeah!! I just need Baby D to sleep a little longer so I can do some bootcamp.

I need to say again how blessed I am to get to stay home with her. She started crying in her sleep just now, and I am so glad that I get to be the one to comfort her. God is good.

Pictures of Darcy

Darcy & Mommy

Daddy loves holding her this way.